“Kids say the most amazing things”
“The cheerful heart has a continual feast.” (Proverbs 15:15)
- One night Ben’s mother overheard this prayer: “Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow’s test. If I should die before I wake, that’s one less test I’ll have to take.”
- One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”
- A little boy’s prayer: “Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re gonna be in a big mess.”
- A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”. “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the little girl replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said. The little girl bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
- A daddy was listening to his little boy say his prayers one evening and was surprised as the little fella prayed, “Dear Harold”. At this, dad interrupted and said, “Wait a minute, Johnny, Why did you call God ‘Harold’”? Johnny looked up and said, “That’s what they call Him in church, Daddy, you know the prayer we say, “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy Name.”
- During the pastor’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church asked: “Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?” Gary answered soberly: “I asked God to teach me to whistle… and He just then did!”
- A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes…” When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if He was paying attention tonight.”
- A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: “So your mother says your prayers for you each night. Very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”.
- Suzy had been misbehaving and was sent to her room. After a while she emerged and informed her mother that she had thought it over and then said a prayer. “Fine”, said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.” “Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Suzy. “I just asked Him to help you put up with me.”
And last is one that is priceless in our techno-connected world…
Typing the wrong e-mail address could cause some serious harm. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper, on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only days before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and passed out on the floor. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Always,
Your eternally loving husband
P.S. Sure is hot down here
