Written by Pastor Mark Driskill
November 15, 2011
Read Ephesians 4:26-27
“Be angry and do not sin…”
Anger is a most understood and mismanaged emotion. But in this simple phrase Paul helps us think about how to manage it. Let’s take this verse apart and get some insight into how God’s people should manage anger.
- “Be angry”- First we are told, go ahead and be angry. Anger in itself is not a sin. Jesus himself expressed anger (Mark 3:5). He was angry at the hard hearted Pharisees who would rather see a man stay ill than break one of their rules. Anger can be a very positive thing as long as we separate it from wrath. Wrath is an outburst of violence, which may come from anger. James tells us “the wrath of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God.” But anger does not have to result in violence. If managed correctly it can be used to actually make peace. Anger is very helpful to all of us. It tells us important things. It has been said, “Tell me what you are angry about and I’ll tell you what your values are.” We only become angry when something we care about is threatened. So what makes you angry? That’s what you care about. So go ahead and be angry. Just don’t let it cause you to sin.
- “and do not sin.” – When does anger lead to sin? One way it leads to sin is when we bury it and allow it to fester in our soul. Do that long enough and it degrades in to malice and bitterness. How much better to deal with anger than bury it. Another way of course is when it becomes an excuse to mistreat someone. You never have the right to abuse or mistreat someone, even if you think they deserve it. Hold them accountable? Yes. Enforce reasonable consequences? Absolutely. Confront evil behavior? Definitely. But the good news of the cross nullifies any claim we have to revenge or mistreatment.
So how can we deal effectively with anger?
- First, face it for what it is. Ask yourself where your feelings fall on the scale between slightly irritated, and furious.
- Second, evaluate it. Ask yourself why you are angry. What is being threatened or harmed? Then you can decide whether or not your level of anger is justified.
- Third, express it, first to God, asking him to help you get His perspective on it. Then to the person who has hurt you.
Here are some simple things to do when confronting someone who has hurt you:
- Take time to cool off. Don’t go until you can talk calmly.
- Do it privately. Treat them as you would be treated.
- Tell the person what you believe they said or did. Allow them to respond, in case you may have misunderstood.
- Tell them why it made you angry. “What you said hurt me because I care about…”
- Tell them how it made you feel and what you need them to do about it.
- Leave room for forgiveness and healing. Decide in advance to forgive regardless of how they respond.
Friends, life is too short to allow our relationships to be destroyed by unresolved anger. Deal with it. Love through it. And forgive it. Then move on to greater things.
Pastor Mark Driskill
Web Minister of Begotten By the Word web ministry
See our website at http://ourchurch.com/member/b/bbtw
and
www.facebook.com (to group “begotten by the word”)
Begotten By the Word is a ministry of Helping Hands Christian resources-Evangelism Outreach
www.hhcr05.org
(Feel free to copy in any way that will bring glory to God and further his kingdom.)
