From the mouths of babes…

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.
–Gregory, age 5

Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
–Olive, age 9

It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there’s still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
–Matthew, age 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
–Mitchell, age 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science.
–Henry, age 8

Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!
–Jack, age 6

Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
–Daniel, age 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there’s a tornado.
–Reagan, age 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter.
–Sara, age 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who’s a very good carpenter.
–Jared, age 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn’t go for it.
–Antonio, age 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
–Ashley, age 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.
– Vicki, age 8

What I don’t get about angels is, why when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.
–Sarah, age 7

The Bible says in Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine….”  Well, here is today’s dose.

• After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong.  Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”
• One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning Alex.”  “Good morning pastor,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. “Pastor McGhee, what is this?” Alex asked. “Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.” Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex’s voice was barely audible when he asked, “Which service, the 8:30 or the 11:00?”
• A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”
• A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely.   It was an old Leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mommy, look what I found,” the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”
• Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
• One particular four-year-old prayed: “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
• A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if You can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am!”

“Kids say the most amazing things”

“The cheerful heart has a continual feast.” (Proverbs 15:15)

• One night Ben’s mother overheard this prayer: “Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow’s test. If I should die before I wake, that’s one less test I’ll have to take.”

• One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

• A little boy’s prayer: “Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re gonna be in a big mess.”

• A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”. “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the little girl replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said. The little girl bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

• A daddy was listening to his little boy say his prayers one evening and was surprised as the little fella prayed, “Dear Harold”. At this, dad interrupted and said, “Wait a minute, Johnny, Why did you call God ‘Harold’”? Johnny looked up and said, “That’s what they call Him in church, Daddy, you know the prayer we say, “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy Name.”

• During the pastor’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church asked: “Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?” Gary answered soberly: “I asked God to teach me to whistle… and He just then did!”

• A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes…” When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if He was paying attention tonight.”

• A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: “So your mother says your prayers for you each night. Very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”.

• Suzy had been misbehaving and was sent to her room. After a while she emerged and informed her mother that she had thought it over and then said a prayer. “Fine”, said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.” “Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Suzy. “I just asked Him to help you put up with me.”

And last is one that is priceless in our techno-connected world…

Typing the wrong e-mail address could cause some serious harm. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper, on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only days before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and passed out on the floor. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Always,

Your eternally loving husband

P.S. Sure is hot down here

This video is too funny and too true!