Written by Pastor Mark Driskill
January 26, 2012
Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
It’s a little after three in the morning and I wish I were sleeping. But it’s one of those mornings when my brain refuses to go into sleep mode. I find myself thinking about everything from the mundane to the profound to the absurd. After repeated attempts to negotiate a ceasefire with my thoughts I make a decision. I can fritter away the wee hours of the morning trying to tell myself to stop thinking, which only leads to more thinking about not thinking, which then leads to frustration because I can’t seem to stop thinking about not thinking. For some reason my mind insists on playing out scenarios in which my wife and children move away, I lose my ministry, and end up living in a shack all by myself and discover that I totally missed God along the way and end up hearing Him say in the end, “I don’t believe I know you…” — I can spend all night playing out this and other similar scenes or I can do something actually a little more close to reality and get up and spend some time with the Lord. So on this morning I am up.
I get up and come into the living room to sit in silence with my Bible. But the silence is hard to find at even this early hour. There is one sound that just seems to be a complete distraction. The clock on the wall is ticking louder than usual. After spending a few moments trying to shut out that irritating, relentless noise, only to have it grow louder so that each tick and every tock digs into my consciousness like a shard of glass, I take the clock down and put it in another room. Ahh silence. But only for a moment, then I can hear the tick tock, tick tock which has become imbedded in my thoughts. It just won’t stop! That incessant reminder that time is ticking away just won’t stop! I find myself keenly aware that time really is ticking away.
In two weeks the love of my life will turn fifty. Next year so will I. Next year my daughter graduates from college. My youngest daughter and son are looking more like adults every twelve seconds. I will be sixty in twelve short years! What have I done with this fleeting breath of life? Have I loved my wife and children well? Have I lived for Jesus or for myself in his name? The barrage of questions is more than I can take. So I throw open my Bible hoping to escape this assault from father time. Where does my Bible land in this desperate game of Bible roulette? – Ecclesiastes 3- “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die.” – I can’t read any farther. My eyes are focused on that little comma between the word, “born” and the clause “and a time to die.” That tiny, punctuation, usually unnoticed, now expands to become as deep and wide as the ocean separating what has been from what is sure to come–Birth and death. That tiny little mark sits quietly between life’s beginning and its completion. But if I look deep enough into that ink spot I pause- after all that’s what commas are for, to make you pause, slow down, catch your breath-and think about what I’m doing in between the bookends of my existence.
It’s no secret that I have been really struggling with this season called midlife, not to the point of buying a red Corvette, but I have been doing some serious reflection on this little vapor I call my life. I’m not so much thinking in terms of grandiose dreams of accomplishment and adventure as about the moments of glory hidden like treasure in the seemingly mundane activities of life. Too often I have rushed past them on my way to empty mirages of what I thought would fulfill me. Mirages of great deeds and mighty accomplishments that looked like destiny from a distance but faded like cotton candy on the tongue when I got up close. I wonder how many moments I miss running after mirages. How many moments with my family were sacrificed on the way to meetings I can’t even remember? How many sunsets and sunrises, gloriously painted by the master have I brushed by in my quest to save the world? How many conversations with friends have I traded in for rushed appointments? How many treasures like these have I trampled over on my way to a mirage? What have I been doing with this brief comma between eternity and eternity? Time to slow down and pay attention to the clock. So I go and bring it back into the living room and listen intently.
I want to change the way I approach life. I want to pay attention to the commas in between birth and death; The sounds of laughter around my dinner table, the smell of the wood burning in the woodstove, the crunch of snow under my boots, the ridiculous wiggle of my dog as he runs to greet me as if I had been gone forever,and the warm feeling of a hand clasped in mine. Things like these are like sparkles of sunlight on the lake of our existence, dancing for joy beneath the sun. I don’t want to miss those. So as the tick tock becomes a little less irritating but no less challenging, I think about how I want to spend my days in this comma in which I live. I make some decisions. “For everything there is a season..and a purpose.”
- I want my seasons to be full of purpose.
- I want to live in the moments, knowing that they are the building blocks of eternity.
- I want to text less and converse more.
- I want less time on face book and more time face to face.
- I want to argue less and understand more.
- I want think less about being right and more about doing right.
- I want to take less and give more.
- I want to be less concerned about who loves me and more concerned with who I love.
- I want to say “I” less and “you” more.
- I want to dream less about my success and work more for yours.
- I want to believe God more.
- I want to look at the stars, smell the coffee, laugh at the kids, and sing off key without caring who listens.
- I want to preach my sermons to God as an offering of praise only looking for his approval.
- I want to act stupid with my kids, and look more deeply in to my wife’s beautiful eyes.
- I want to argue less about theology and simply live what I believe.
In short… I want to live this life as if it were the gift God designed it to be.
I hear the tick tock again. Only this time it isn’t so irritating. It’s calling to me like a caring friend. It beckons me to pay attention to the commas in my life and enjoy them. It pleads with me to make the most of life but to do so with an awareness that God has set eternity in my heart for a reason. I dare not fritter away precious moments on empty and vain pursuits. I must avoid being so caught up in what I have to do that I miss what I get to do. There are two things you cannot control, when you are born and when you die. But the comma in between is yours to fill. How are you filling it? By the way thanks for lending me the gift of your time.
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Pastor Mark Driskill
Web Minister of Begotten By the Word web ministry
See our website at http://ourchurch.com/member/b/bbtw
and
www.facebook.com (to group “begotten by the word”)
Begotten By the Word is a ministry of Helping Hands Christian resources-Evangelism Outreach
www.hhcr05.org
(Feel free to copy in any way that will bring glory to God and further his kingdom.)
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